Mr. Claus 2022

They piled into the Volvo sleigh and headed toward the address that Viggo had provided to Mr. Claus in his text.
“When we get there he’s mine,” said Mr. Claus.
“Let’s not be hasty about dispensing justice,” said William.
“He tried to kill me and everyone else in the house,” said Mr. Claus.
“True, but still let’s try to keep a level head,” said William.
“Level headed sounds good,” said Leroy.
“I’ll give him a Merry Winter Solstice,” said Mr. Claus.
Leroy put his hands out trying to calm him down. They didn’t need flared tempers at this point.
Miriam sat quietly in the back seat.

#

“Benny let’s celebrate? We did it, man, we got him,” said Lenny.
“First of all, my name is Benjamin,” said Benjamin and pulled a pistol out of his jacket pocket.
“What’s the gun for? And what’s the second thing? You need a second thing if you say ‘first of all’,” said Lenny.
“The gun is for your sorry ass. I should have done this a long time ago. You’re crazy and I have been here for you because you’re my brother. But this is too much. You’re a lunatic and that fake-ass Blofeld look is a joke. Plus you’re fucking with Santa. That’s it, man. I’ve had it.”
Benjamin raised the gun.
Just then the door burst open and William and Leroy came through the opening with rifles raised. They stepped to the side to let Mr. Claus, J.J. and Miriam enter as well.
“You don’t look sick,” said Lenny.
Mr. Claus coughed and then smiled.
“I’m asymptomatic,” said Mr. Claus.
“Yeah, but,” said Lenny.
“Asymptomatic ‘cause we never opened your package,” said Mr. Claus.
A shot rang out and Lenny tensed before slumping over. Kasper leapt down from his lap unscathed and a crimson spot appeared on Lenny’s chest where he was hit.
Everyone looked over at Benjamin but his gun was down at his side.
“Damn that felt good,” said Miriam as she lowered a pistol.
“Damn, girl, what you doin’?” asked Leroy.
“It was for Benjamin,” said Miriam.
“And for Christmas,” said Mr. Claus.
“The only one that will miss him is the cat,” said Benjamin.
“And what’s with the cat?” asked Mr. Claus.
“Don’t even go there,” said Benjamin.
“Is it friendly?” asked William.
“Yeah, almost like a dog,” said Benjamin with a smile.
William walked over and scooped Kasper up in his arms and said, “Then he’s coming with us.”
“Let’s get out of here while I am still in the Christmas mood,” said Mr. Claus.
“He means put the guns away you two and let’s go,” said Leroy to Miriam and Benjamin.
“Ho, ho, ho, we all gotta go” said Mr. Claus as they left and piled into the Volvo.