“Hey, I need to use the facilities,” said William from the back of the van that they loaded him into several hours ago.
“He’s gotta use the facilities. How fucking quaint,” said the Pabst Blue Ribbon nisse.
William wasn’t blindfolded and had seen the three nisser when they took him. As they didn’t introduce themselves he only knew them by their hats- Pabst Blue Ribbon- or PBR, Miller and Busch. He was trying not to think about the consequences of him being able to identify them as it wasn’t helpful. It was tough not to go there, but he was trying to channel the bad ass elves from Lord of the Rings as best he could under the circumstances.
PBR was clearly the leader of the group although William doubted that these three were anything other than lackeys.
“Yeah, I have to piss, too,” said Miller.
“And I have to go number two,” said Busch from behind the wheel with an exuberant laugh.
“Alright, alright. Hold your horses. We’ll stop at the next rest area,” said PBR who was sitting in a captain’s chair next to William.
The van looked like a conversion van from the 70’s with burnt orange shag carpeting and two captain’s chairs. They had William sitting on the floor with his hands tied behind his back with zip ties. It could be worse- he could have been in the back of a panel van on an unpadded floor with lots of stuff rolling around.
“Can anyone tell me where we are?” asked William.
“The back of a bad ass van little man. That is all you need to know,” replied PBR.
William put his head down and thought hard about the elves in LOTR.
