Otto walked through the door of Aardvark Detective Services with a kombucha in one hand and a vape pen in the other. He was tall for a nisse and had really taken to the California lifestyle after a move from Denmark several years ago. He was well connected in the supernatural underworld and had helped the team previously.
“How are things hangin’?” asked Mr. Claus.
Otto took a drag from his vape pen and nodded to him.
“No need getting all chatty you two,” said Mrs. Claus and took a drag from her cigarette.
“I understand you need some help,” said Otto.
“William has been kidnapped by a group of hillbilly nisser,” said Mrs. Claus.
“Real hillbillies or wannabe hillbillies?” asked Otto.
Everyone looked at Otto as they obviously didn’t know the answer.
“Real hillbillies are wearing camouflage or whatever jeans were on sale at Walmart. The same goes for the rest of their apparel. Everything is purchased as a necessity. Wannabe hillbillies wear distressed Pabst Blue Ribbon hats, tight Wrangler boot cut jeans and Pendleton flannel shirts. And everything is clean and possibly even ironed.”
“I think they might have been wannabes then,” said J.J.
“They were all wearing those hats with beer logos,” added Mrs. Claus.
“And no college t-shirts? At least one of them should have been wearing a college team t-shirt,” said Otto.
“Nope, they all had plain white t-shirts,” said Mrs. Claus.
“White? They are the most economical, but too much like they were playing dress up,” said Otto.
“So where are they from?” asked Mr. Claus.
“And more importantly- how do we find them?” added Mrs. Claus.
“I will put my ear to the ground and see if there are any rumblings in the nisse community,” said Otto.
Mr. Claus felt his telephone vibrate slightly before he heard the ping that he had gotten a text message. He unlocked his phone and went to the top of his message list. There was a short, but clear, message.
Dear Santa Claus,
We have captured William and will only release him if you follow our instructions. You have two hours to get to the Sacred Light of Sedona. We will contact you there.
-Bubba
“Bubba?” asked Mrs. Claus with obvious disdain.
“What did I tell you? Wannabes,” said Otto.
“Wannabes with an agenda and William. Let’s get going everyone- we are headed to Sedona,” said Mr. Claus.
