Mr. Claus 2023

Mr. Claus never went anywhere in his costume without a double hanging around in the back of the crowd. He hated all of the pictures and the reality of kids was less appealing than just looking at a list of who had been naughty and nice. So he usually tapped out pretty early in the proceedings.
He nodded through the crowd at Lester, who had been his double for years, and got an affirmative nod in return. He went through the first round of waving and greeting on the dock as he got off the boat. It was like second nature after all of these years. But he was more concerned about William and yet another holiday season with something happening.
Lester and he made the switch as Mr. Claus went through the crowd and before they started up Broadway. It went off without a hitch and he hoped Rosemary was paying Lester enough for his services.
Mr. Claus walked away from the crowd to his blue Volvo sleigh that was parked on a side street. The car sleigh had the same technology as the real sleigh and allowed him to be back in Berkeley at the Aardvark offices in no time.

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“Oh my God,” said Liz as he walked in the front door.
She was William’s wife- maybe just girlfriend- Mr. Claus couldn’t remember and wasn’t concerned with those small details.
“Give me a pre-roll would you Rosemary?”
“Change out of the suit first though. We don’t want that smelling funky,” she said.
“Just give me the pre-roll and we’ll worry about my suit later,” answered Mr. Claus.
She handed him a monster joint and lighter. The group waited for him to take his first hit before letting him know the situation.
Mrs. Claus took a sip of her lowball glass with bourbon and said, “Three nisser in boot cut jeans, flannel shirts and beat up trucker caps burst in here with shotguns and grabbed William.”
“Why William?” asked Mr. Claus.
“They didn’t say and they didn’t seem like the type that felt compelled to give long explanations for their actions,” said Mrs. Claus.
“Anything specific about their hats or anything else?” asked Mr. Claus.
J.J., their tech expert who was visiting from The Pole answered, “They all had beer logos. One of them was wearing a PBR hat.”
“Beer logos? Any fishing logos or rodeo or anything like that?”
“Nope- just beer logos,” answered J.J.
“So they weren’t our local nisser,” said Mr. Claus.
“Doesn’t appear like it,” answered J.J.
“Damn. J.J. please get Leroy here and let’s see if anyone knows who we are dealing with,” said Mr. Claus.
“I’ll call Otto,” said Mrs. Claus.
“Good idea. Our stoner nisse friend just might be able to help us out,” said Mr. Claus.