Darker Take on Santa One Chapter at a Time
Mr. Claus 2022
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Mr. Claus 2022

Buddy made a call to his friend Rudy, who was an artistic consultant that worked a lot with a famous fashion photographer. He asked him to meet at their studio in San Francisco.

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Rudy showed up with a huge re-usable coffee mug with an ornate and glittery pink star on a black background. He looked like he had just rolled out of bed and filled up the mug on the way to meet at the studio.
“Rough night?” asked Buddy.
“Nothing a bit of liquid energy can’t fix,” said Rudy and held up his mug.
Buddy wasn’t sure what was in the mug, but it didn’t matter. Whatever got Rudy going was cool with him. He knew he would come through for him.
As Rudy unlocked the door and let them in he asked, “So what is this all about?”
“I need you to do me a favor. It’s for my old lady, man. She’s gotten into a beef with Santa. Can you believe it?”
“I met her, so yes.”
“I would like a picture or image that I can post on Twitter on someone else’s account.”
“This someone else wouldn’t be Santa, would it?”
“What do you think?”
“Oh, man, I don’t know about screwing with Santa. You know he has a lot of friends. And… it’s Santa.”
“I know Rudy, but Santa has nothing to do with those bell-ringing, jolly mother fuckers from Salvation Army and shit. Plus Veronica is upset and I want to make her happy, man.”
“Okay, but it’s under protest. I do owe you one, but I hope we can keep it kinda okay.”
“You owe me more than one and we’ll do it no worse than sketchy.”
“No worse than sketchy is fine— I think. What do you need?”
Buddy described his idea and Rudy smiled.
“So you want a real Bad Santa thing that is right there on the edge?” asked Rudy.
“Yeah, something that would be edgy cool if it were a different person but totally not Santa Claus.”
“I can hook you up. Gimme a couple of hours and I’ll mail it to you. I have a friend that is great with charcoal and is card-carrying humbug. He’ll do it gladly. That work for you?”
“That works for me,” said Buddy and smiled.